I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
