Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
