At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
