My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
