but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
