I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
