Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
