we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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