Porn is love you can see.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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