Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
