Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
