Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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