Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
