The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
