so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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