I think scott just propositioned me for sex
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize