so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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