There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
