Church boner. Awkwardddd
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
