pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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