I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
