I feel like abortions should bother me more
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
