Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
