apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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