we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
