You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
