no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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