She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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