Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
