real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
