Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
