I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
