no. you can't hotbox the world.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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