I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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