I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
