I think my vagina is haunted
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
