He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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