Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Randomize
