Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
