I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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