Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
