You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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