Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
