It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
