dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
