If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
