what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
