This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We are two peas in an std pod
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
