I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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