do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
