Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
