I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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