He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
