I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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