I want to stick my p in your. b.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
