if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
