I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Of course I have a pirate flag
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
