fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
