Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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