I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
