Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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