Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
