so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
