Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
