so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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