at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just want nice things and good sex
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
